Current Affairs26th June 2026
Many people experience ‘honour’-based abuse without knowing it has a name
For many people, ‘honour’-based abuse might not feel like abuse at first. It might be pressure about how you dress, who you speak to, or to act a certain way. For some people, the concept of ‘honour’ is prized above the safety and wellbeing of individuals, and to compromise a family’s ‘honour’ is to bring dishonour and shame – which can have severe consequences. As a result, this can be used to justify many types of abuse, and even disownment or physical harm. Control can also be established without overt violence against the victim. ‘Honour’- Based Abuse can lead to a deeply embedded form of coercive control that begins early in the family home, built on expectations about what behaviour is considered acceptable or unacceptable, with multiple people or family members contributing to the coercive control.
There are many misconceptions about ‘Honour’ – Based Abuse being associated with certain cultures or religions, and our work is dedicated to challenging and correcting such beliefs. ‘Honour’- Based Abuse is not a cultural tradition or religious practice; it is a form of abuse that can occur within any community, regardless of faith or background. Abuse is abuse – no matter who the perpetrator is or how they justify it. No one – not even your family or partner – has the right to control or to harm you, emotionally or physically. Being controlled, threatened or harmed in the name of honour is a violation of your human rights, recognised in UK law as ‘honour’-based abuse — and you do not have to accept it.
Recognising these behaviours and challenging them is an important step in breaking the cycle and protecting future generations.
How do I know if it’s ‘Honour’- Based Abuse?
The key sign of ‘Honour’- Based Abuse is feeling shamed for your beliefs or choices by your family or community, and feeling controlled or pressured to act differently. You may be experiencing ‘Honour’- Based Abuse if you feel like any of the following examples apply to you:
- Dating before marriage: You may have a partner that you’ve kept hidden from your family and/or community, as you know they would find the idea of you dating before marriage unacceptable or shameful.
- Your sexuality: You may choose to keep your sexuality hidden or feel intense shame over it, as you believe your family and/or community would punish you for it due to their beliefs.
- Wanting a Divorce: You may want a divorce but are told it’s dishonourable and will bring shame to you or your family. This pressure could come from family, in-laws, or your partner, with claims that it could harm your siblings’ marriage prospects.
- Forced Marriage or Child Marriage: You may feel pressured to marry young or to marry someone you didn’t choose, and told it’s your duty. Even if you’ve declined, the pressure may persist, or you may feel unsure but uneasy about the situation. Your family might even threaten to take you abroad for marriage.
- Being too ‘Westernised’: You may be criticised for being ‘too westernised’ for wearing certain clothes or wearing makeup and be forced to dress differently. You may have been told that it is shameful to leave the house dressed in the way you’d like.
- Bringing ‘shame’ for making choices outside your family’s norm: You may face threats or disownment for making choices like studying, using social media, leaving your family’s faith, living independently, or speaking out about abuse—being told your actions are unacceptable and dishonourable.
- Virginity testing, hymenoplasty and FGM: You may have been questioned about your virginity and be under pressure to take a virginity test. You may be feeling pressure to have hymenoplasty or FGM, or even have already experienced it, with or without consenting.
‘Honour’ – Based Abuse can take many forms, but none of the choices you make are shameful or dishonourable—you have the right to make your own decisions. You are not alone.
How can I get help?
Since 1993, we have helped thousands of people across the UK. Our free confidential helpline is available via telephone and email, and while we might provide suggestions, it is always your choice. Our helpline is available to all ethnic backgrounds, sexualities, gender identities and nationalities. We also offer support in Hindi, Punjabi and Urdu as well as English. If you are concerned, we are here to listen and help.